Category Archives: thoughts
- Do you believe in ghosts?
- What is your best recipe?
- What is your most favorite smell/scent?
- What subject was your favorite in all of your schooling? Why?
1)I do believe in ghosts. I didn’t always, but I was shopping in a store one evening when things were flying off the shelves. It was liking being in an episode of “Bewitched” without Samantha or Endora. There wasn’t anybody on the other side of either shelf.
3)My favorite smell is the smell of Sunday Breakfast (The aroma of fresh brewing coffee, the ryeness of the rye bread as it was being toasted, the fragrance of sizzling bacon, scrambled eggs (though I can’t really smell them), and my first fart of the day.
4)My favorite subject in school was English on “Creative Writing” days. I liked writing stories about people who had no business being together in situations like being stuck in an elevator together.
I started with week 18 last week. I will over the course of time get to the 17 weeks that I missed.
2 Comments | tags: aromas, Bewitched, cooking, ghosts, writing | posted in humor, life, satire, Sharing My World, thoughts
I got this idea from this website while surfing the web. I found it at week 18. Over time, I may add past and future “Sharing my World” posts. A lot will depend on time as I am having a hard enough time finding time for my presidential campaign blog.
Here are the four Share Your World questions for this week. I hope you have some fun playing along.
- Do you play video/computer game? Which one(s) or most recent?
- When writing by hand do you prefer to use a pencil or pen?
- What has surprised me about blogging?
- If you had a shelf for your three most special possessions (not including people or animals), what would you put on it?
See my answers below.
- I play a few games on Facebook. I used to play video games when I had a Sega Genesis. “ToeJam and Earl” was my favorite game. I got many of my dancing moves from Earl.
- I use an Eraser-Mate pen when writing by hand. My writing smudges too much with a pencil, but I make too many mistakes to use a regular pen.
- The thing that has surprised me the most about blogging is that sometimes what brings people to my blog is surprising. I once wrote about a blog about Nancy Pelosi and Global Warming. Three people came to my site and that entry looking for “Hot Nancy Pelosi Pics”.
- My three most prized possession are a Clint Didier autographed football, a ceramic ashtray I made in Shop class, and a photoshopped picture of me with Vanna White.
2 Comments | tags: ashtray, Clint Didier, Eraser-Mate, facebook, Global Warming, Nancy Pelosi, Sega Genisis, Sharing my World, ToeJam and Earl | posted in humor, life, thoughts
Daylight Saving Time begins on Sunday in most of the United States and Canada. One doesn’t realize how many devices have clocks on them until one has to change the time on all of them. Fortunately, the time on my TV, computer, GPS, and phone change automatically. I have a bunch of other devices that I have to change manually.
My watch – Fortunately, I got a new watch for Christmas and all I have to do to change the time is to hit the “DST” button and it goes to or from Daylight Saving Time.
My coffee pot – I have a bad habit of not changing the time until I use the timer feature. I’ll want the coffee brewed at 7:00 and it will brew at 6:00 because I didn’t change the clock.
My alarm clock – for good measure, I usually change it the Friday evening before if I don’t have to wake up on Saturday. I make a point not to look at the alarm clock on Saturday.
The clock in the car – This one is difficult because it doesn’t work according to the directions in the car manual. I have to do other things not mentioned to get the time to change.
Synchronizing the sundial – this is the most difficult of all because it is hard to move the sundial EXACTLY one hour. I’ll overmove it and the sundial will be running fast or I’ll undermove it and it will run slow. Worse yet, I’ll move it in the wrong direction and it will be off by two hours.
I hate Daylight Saving Time. I am more of a “set-it-and-forget-it” kind of guy.
1 Comment | tags: alarm clock, coffee pot, computer, Daylight Saving Time, sundial, timepieces, TV, watch | posted in humor, life, rant, satire, thoughts
I know I have been ranting about the place I work out. Before I go on about today’s rant, I should explain the good points of the gym/ resort:
The people who work there are top-notch. If I was running a gym, I’d try to persuade them to work for me. I know I complained about the cleanliness of the track and will complain about the basketball court today, but it is not the fault of the workers. When it is clean, it is a very nice place. It helps that it is around the corner and don’t have to drive and try to find a parking spot.
The basketball court is to the immediate right of the main lobby. I like to get to the court by 8:40AM and finish before the morons take over the court. The problem is that the cleaning crew thinks like I do. They like to start cleaning soon after I start shooting around. The resort needs an overnight cleaning person for the common areas. Especially for the money they charge for both the hotel customers and the gym customers. The cleaning guy shouldn’t have to dodge basketballs and clients shouldn’t have to worry about tripping over a broom or mop. For those of you not familiar with this concept, it’s called common sense.
From the basketball courts, I head to the pool. There is usually a water aerobics class for senior ladies, but there is usually a place in the pool where I can swim. The lone exception is when someone with a senior fetish bobs himself up and down in the area where there would otherwise be room to swim.
After the swim (or instead of if the pervert is bobbing), I like to soak in the Jacuzzi. There’s usually a person in there, but sometimes it’s empty. I’ll be relaxing when some guy will come in and for some bizarre reason, think that I am lonely and would enjoy his company. Sometimes it’s the idiot who was texting on the track. Sometimes it’s the jerk chilling out on the ab machine that I want to use. But it’s usually someone with already at least one strike against him and it’s always a male that thinks I would enjoy his company.
Does this face look lonely to you?
This concludes the gym rant. I will pick something else to whine about soon.
Leave a comment | tags: basketball court, cleaning crew, jacuzzi, morons, parking, resort, swimming pool | posted in humor, life, rant, satire, thoughts
I was kind of a late bloomer in life. I started liking members of the opposite sex at a relatively late age. That same day, I started getting an outbreak of zits. It was the first day of my junior year in high school. Kelli was my lab partner in Biology the precious school year, but I didn’t pay much attention to her. But she wore a tight white blouse and even tighter dark blue jeans. WOW!
Later that day iin the cafeteria Kelli was carrying her food tray to a table when a fork fell off the tray. She bent over to pick up the tray. I was embarrassed by the resulting bulge in my pants. I wanted to ask her out, but I wanted to check my appearance before asking. When I finished eating, I went to the bathroom to comb my hair. While combing, I noticed that my face had been infested with pimples. This wasn’t one zit – that would have been bad enough considering I had never had a blemish of any kind on my face before.
My face looked like a zodiac map. there were too many zits for “Connect the Dots.” Feeling my face was like reading “The Bible” in Braille. I wondered how this could happen to me. There were no zits when I washed my face that morning. My face was washed every morning because I was so afraid of getting a zit. Now I looked like a pizza with extra pepperoni.
That evening was the start of the “Clearasil Drenchings” I’d hold my nose and dunk my face in a bowl of Clearasil. Then I took the pads (one pad for each pimple) – I wanted to make sure all of the zits were off of my face.
It took forever (a week) for those pesky zits to disappear. I soon had the resolve and the muster to ask Kelli out, but by then she was already seeing somebody.
[This is part of the A-Z of Life series. Check out the other posts!]
2 Comments | tags: acne, adolescence, Clearasil, dating, growing up, pimples, school, zits | posted in A-Z of life, humor, life, satire, thoughts
For those unfamiliar with Roman numerals, XVII is the number for 17. Super Bowls are still numbered with Roman numerals, with the most recent Super Bowl being XLVI (46) between the Giants and Patriots. Super Bowl XVII was my favorite Super Bowl. It pitted my Redskins against the Miami Dolphins. It was the first time I ever got to watch the Redskins play in a Super Bowl. (They had played the Dolphins in Super Bowl VII, but I wasn’t born then.
I wanted to be like John Riggins when I was a kid. He ran over people. That looked like fun. I liked running over people even though my mother said I was a bad boy when I did that. He was a big part of the Redskins offense (which was explosive in those days.)
The game didn’t look promising at first. It took a while for the Redskins to score a touchdown. And as soon as they scored, they gave up a touchdown on the ensuing kickoff. The Redskins trailed at halftime. They trailed after three quarters. The Redskins were facing a 4th-and-1 on the Miami 43 yard line. It looked like a typical goal line offense-vs-defense. The play looked like Riggins was going to go through the middle, but he went around to the left and went down the field for a Redskins touchdown. The Redskins finally had a lead. I was a happy kid! The Redskins scored a touchdown late in the game and won 27-17.
“XVII” is not a word in my opinion. But I had to search for “words that start with ‘x” on the internet. And according to a page I found, they included all Roman numerals that started with “X.” I chose XVII because it was the first time I got to see the Redskins win a Super Bowl. I could have chosen XXII or XXVI. Both those Super Bowls were great, but XVII will always have a special place in my heart.
[This is part of the A-Z of Life series. Check out the other posts!]
Leave a comment | tags: John Riggins, Miami Dolphins, roman numerals, Super Bowl XVII, Washington Redskins | posted in A-Z of life, humor, life, satire, thoughts, Uncategorized
A town so nice they named it twice. New York has a lot to offer (though sometimes that is forgotten because it’s so expensive to live there.) New York has museums, restaurants, beaches, restaurants, a massive public transportation system, restaurants, and a multitude of sports teams in the major sports. (Not to mention restaurants).
New York is a melting pot of culture. If you are from another country besides the United States, you will find a neighborhood where people come from your country. It seems that every nationality has their own festive parade. In many cases, the parade in New York City is larger than any parade in the motherland.
New York seems to have a parade or a food fair every weekend. In addition to the parades celebrating various nationalities, there are also parades for heroes and winning New York sports teams (The New York Giants were honored with a parade a few weeks ago.) and they throw the best Halloween parade on Halloween night. (Not the Saturday or Sunday afternoon before or after Halloween).
Even if you hate museums, beaches, restaurants, sports, diversity, or parades, New York City still has a lot to offer. There’s Broadway (with the latest and hottest plays and musicals) and “off-Broadway” with even more musicals and plays (but without the hefty Broadway ticket prices).
My advice for smokers is this: If you don’t want to have a heart attack, then buy cigarettes, pipe tobacco, cigars, marijuana, etc. before arriving in New York City. The taxes on tobacco are higher here than anywhere else in the United States. While there is no tax on marijuana as of yet, it is still somewhat illegal. The price for a pack of cigarettes start at $11.00 and go up from there.
New York wins. It is the best place to go because there are more free things to do in New York City than things to do (free or otherwise) in any other city.
3 Comments | tags: Broadway, cigarettes, cigars, food fairs, marijuana, museums, New York City, off-Broadway, parades, pipes, restaurants, sports | posted in humor, observations, satire, thoughts
OK the town doesn’t really exist, but it should have. Although there is no “Hooterville” on any map, I have watched enough episodes of “Green Acres” and “Petticoat Junction” to know quite a bit about the town. Below is how a trip to Hooterville would have gone for me:
I arrived to Hooterville by train. It was a nice surprise to see the hotel I was going to stay at for a week was within walking distance. I walked over to the Shady Rest Hotel and were greeted by Kate and her Uncle Joe. They were nice people. Kate sounded a bit like Betty Rubble and Joe seemed so much like he could have been my uncle, I soon started calling him “Uncle Joe.” (Both of my parents were only children so I don’t have a blood uncle.)
Soon after settling in and unpacking, I headed towards Drucker’s General Store. I had never been in a general store before, so I didn’t know what to expect. It had a lot of things that a supermarket has and a few things that a Wal-Mart would have. There wasn’t much that interested me foodwise because I wasn’t really hungry, but I felt obligated to buy something so I bought a grilled cheese sandwich.
I strolled through Hooterville looking for things to do. It turns out there isn’t much to do there except for shooting the breeze. A man named Mr. Haney (I forgot his first name) liked to talk. He also liked selling stuff. Like rutabagas and gadgets. He said he had one thing to say, but that was after he said 40-50 other things.
I soon ran into a farmhand named “Eb”. I thought he said “Ed” and called him as such, but he said it was “Eb”. (I wondered if it was short for “Ebeneezer” or for “Ebb”.) He thought I might have been hungry or thirsty so he invited me to the Douglas farmhouse to get some water. Lisa was very nice. She even invited me for dinner. I thought about it until I heard the pancakes moan.
I drank some water and headed back to the Shady Rest when I was approached by a pig. He seemed happy, smiling as he was snorting at me. The pig’s owner soon came out and told me he was just saying hi. Then he yelled at the pig for cheating in Checkers again.
I was soon back at the hotel and was joined by three hotties for dinner. Billie Jo, Bobbie Jo, Betty Jo and Uncle Joe and Kate had steak and potatoes and milk.
I would go back to Hooterville if it existed. I would have to make sure that I brought booze with me. Billie Jo, Bobbie Jo, Betty Jo, and Uncle Joe all play hard to get when sober.
Leave a comment | tags: Arnold Ziffel, booze, Drucker's General Store, Eb, Green Acres, Hooterville, Lisa Douglas, Mr. Haney, rutabagas, Sam Drucker, Shady Rest Hotel, Uncle Joe | posted in humor, observations, satire, thoughts
Oceanside is located in northern San Diego County and is 45 minutes from San Diego California. The weather is ideal year-round (especially along the coast). One thing I learned from visiting one summer is that you do not have to go far inland to notice a significant increase in temperature. It can be in the low 70s at the beach and in the 90s just two miles inland.
Oceanside has a nice beach and pier. Along the beach there is the house most famous for being in “Top Gun.” The California Surfer’s Museum is near the Transit Center. The Transit Center has a bus area for local buses and Greyhound as well as a train station for trips to Los Angeles and San Diego. Parts of the X-Games were held there in 1997 (Surfing and Street Luge). The International Gymnastics Hall-of-Fame and Museum was in Oceanside until 1997 when it vaulted to Oklahoma City, OK.
Downtown Oceanside is a walk through small-town America. Many of the buildings have been there for over 100 years. There is a coffee house that emphasizes the “house’ part as much as the “coffee” portion.
Much of the rest of Oceanside is like modern-day suburbia. There are large stretches of road with strip-mall after strip-mall and all of the strip malls looking alike. “It’s the third store in the second strip-mall on the left.” is one of the way the locals use to describe the location of a specific store.
Oceanside isn’t without its problems. The biggest problem is that it is in California. Lots of taxes and lots of regulations prevent Oceanside from being a more enjoyable place to live. Population has increased by 400% in the last 40 years, which has made the downtown congested. The rest of the town has compensated for the town increase by having many double and triple-lane roads. The anti-smoking zealots roost there. “No smokes for you!” It also has much of the good things of California – nice weather, gorgeous sunsets, and a copious quantity of hotties on the beach.
2 Comments | tags: California, Gymnastics Museum, Oceanside Ca, regulations, small town, suburbia, Surfers Museum, taxes, Top Gun, Top Ten Towns, Transit Center, X-Games | posted in humor, observations, thoughts
Like I mentioned before, not all of my top ten towns have things to do. Barnsley is one of those towns. There’s nothing to do in Barnsley and it’s a great getaway place because most internet maps and GPS devices do not recognize Barnsley as a town. It’s the ideal getaway spot when you don’t want anybody to find you. I haven’t gone lately because I have been too busy running for President I haven’t had the time to avoid people.
There really isn’t anything to do in Barnsley. The only business is an auto mechanic. There’s no McDonald’s, Burger King, or Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse. There is some woods for hiking and a swimming hole, but that is about it. I usually go Barnsley when I have to escape and I want to be left alone.
Barnsley is like Brazil in that I found it accidentally. I can’t elaborate any further but I can say that I found it from a song.
I went to Barnsley to escape when:
- My fiancee and I broke up.
- 1997 and dealing with Vanna White’s 40th birthday.
- Following the 1998 Stanley Cup Finals when the Capitals were swept in four games by the Detroit Red Wings.
- When I was fired from my job as a movie theater manager.
I find that the peaceful place helpful. There’s no pressure of finding something to do and hoping whatever I’m doing will entertain me. It’s just relaxation and beer. It’s the place to go to clear my mind because there’s nothing there to distract me. It does the trick every time.
2 Comments | tags: Barnsley KY, escape, getaway, isolation, Top Ten Towns | posted in humor, life, satire, thoughts