It has been a long time since I have in Montreal. The last time I was there, the Canadiens played hockey in LeForum, the Washington Nationals were the Montreal Expos, and the Montreal Machine was a mediocre football team in the World League of American Football.
A couple of college buddies had decided that Montreal would be the perfect place to go for Spring Break. It was perfect if you consider Spring being broken and it was obnoxiously cold as “Spring Break.” It was too cold to think of hotties running around in bikinis. (Indoors or out).
Most of Canada is in English, but Montreal is in French. At least the signs are. Most of the people can speak English or at least understand when you call them “a bunch of stupid idiots.”
The hotel I stayed in had a few American television networks. I was hoping to watch the season opener of the World league of American Football on ABC. Unfortunately, the local ABC affiliate in Burlington, VT felt they would have more viewers if they showed infomercials.
My friends and I were on the prowl and decided to check out the nightlife. Most of the bars were occupied by French-speaking people and the women were not too willing to converse in English. Unfortunately, the only French I knew was “Ménage à trois” and I only wanted the hottie. I didn’t want the ugly friend to join.
We finally found a bar that looked like it was an English-speaking bar. We were correct. Soon after we walked in, we wished we were wrong. The bar turned out to be a gay bar. There wasn’t a woman in sight, not even a lesbian.
Overall, the trip was a lot of fun. We took a tour of Stade Olympique (Olympic Stadium), Caught a game at Le Forum, and walked Rue Sainte-Catherine. We even met a hooker as we were leaving Montreal, but by that time, we barely had enough money for a handshake.