What’s the Point?

Last year I went into a rant about people at the gym I have been working out at for the last two years.  Nothing has changed.  I take that back.  It has gotten worse.

Last spring (after the previous rants), I started running on the indoor track.  It was great the first three weeks.  The first two weeks I had the track to myself and got much accomplished.  A runner joined me the third week and we had a mutual understanding of how each other trained so we could both get our full training in.

Then the fecal matter hit the fan.  All of the treadmills were being serviced so the treadmill people came up to the track.  The track is a short track with 15 laps equaling a mile (as opposed to 4 laps on a standard U.S. track) or 40% of a lap at the Indianapolis Speedway.  And instead of eight lanes, there is one lane (which is supposed to be wide enough for two people comfortably.)  The corners bank upwards much like an auto racetrack.

There is a sign of the track rules on the wall across from the stairwell.  The problem with the location is that the newbies stand in the middle of the track while reading the sign.  The following are the types of people who make training at the track a burden:

• Lovebirds – Walking next to each other hand-in-hand makes it impossible to run without having to stop every lap and scream “EXCUSE ME” because for some reason, they can’t hear my grunting and heavy breathing when I am running.
• “Day-Care” Parents – Parents who drop their children at the track and go to the Jacuzzi and drink pina coladas. (One of the rules on  the sign is that children under 16 must be accompanied by an adult at all times.
• Apparatus – people who think it’s cool to ride bicycles and skateboards on the track.
• Phone / Texters – People who make calls or text while walking (and usually in the middle of the track).
• General Dumbnuts – people who don’t pay attention to the sign.  (The sign has a few simple rules, some I mentioned before – No horseplay, track direction alternated on alternate days to prevent wear and tear to certain joints from going in the same direction every day.)

There are other things that bug me – they vacuum the track in the middle of the day.  I understand not vacuuming in the middle of the night. (the gym is in a hotel)  They could still get one of those push duster thingies that they use im movie theaters between film showings.  One would think since they are vacuuming that they would pick up the empty water bottles, candy bar wrappers, and Big Mac boxes around the track.  They stay around for days at a time sometimes.

I will have another rant tomorrow about the basketball court and pool areas.  your eyes need a deserved rest.

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Another Gym Rant

Last week I wrote about naked old men parading in the locker room.  This situation has gotten worse.  This week many people are on vacation and they are bringing their children to the gym. (Mostly for the indoor swimming pool).  These men are parading around the locker room around the children.

If you have ever been around a child or if you have ever been a child, you know that children are naturally curious.  Children like to ask questions about things they have never seen before.  So when a child asked a naked old man why he has hair in places the boy doesn’t, the man snapped at the boy.  I had to intervene and tell the old man to cover up.  This makes me think that the Cinemafioso has money to join a gym because they don’t have to pay rent living in their parents’ basement.

There was another thing that irked me today.  People have suddenly thought that exercise equipment has doubled as lounge chairs.  This is not the case.  None of the exercise machines that have seats have a cup holder or a place for the remote control.  And contrary to what these people think, some people actually go to the gym to work out.  Notice the word “workout”.  The word starts with “work”.  Lounging around does not constitute as “work.”  If it did, I’d be well paid and my services would be in high demand.

I am glad you have decided to work out.  All I am asking is that you be considerate of other people who have also decided to work out.

Working Out at the Gym

Americans want a president who is fit.  America hasn’t had a fat president since William Howard Taft.  There is a lot of stress involved in being a president and more in being the leader of a free world.  Americans aren’t going to vote for a candidate who looks like he or she will not be around in four years.

I joined a gym in June, weighing 229 lbs when I first joined.  I have been working out since.  I am now down to 192 lbs and am beginning to look like a presidential stud.

The gym has a lot to offer:  Treadmills, spinning machines, yoga classes, swimming pools, needlepoint, and weight training.  The staff and trainers are wonderful.  If there is one thing that bugs me about the gym, is the behavior of the men in the locker room.

The men (especially the middle-aged and elderly men) like to walk around naked.  There is a shower and I have no problem people going from the shower to the locker naked.  The problem is that some men walk around the locker room looking for a conversation.  I’m a tolerant person, but I do have one simple request:  If you wish to converse with me, cover your junk!   I am not a TSA agent; I don’t want to see your package. If the younger guys know to cover up, why don’t the older guys?

It will be only a matter of time before I get to my ideal weight.  If only I knew what my ideal weight is…